Even though it is hard to listen to other people's grief, their support is invaluable, as well as the knowledge that you are not going crazy and that others are having the same feelings as you.

Never hesitate to seek out the help of a professional skilled in grief counselling, if you are not getting the help you need from other sources or if you just would like help in working through grief.

Dr. Edward Pakes, psychiatrist and Director of the Bereavement Clinic, at Mount Sinai Hospital, in Toronto, believes that guidance and support of families through the grieving process is good preventative medicine. It can prevent more serious psychological problems from developing in the future.

• In the case of the death of a baby, child or adult, it is advisable to see, touch, hold and say good bye to the body if possible, if you want to.

This allows the family to start to grasp the reality of the death and will help prevent emotional trauma at a later date.

• During the grieving process it is very important to treat your body well. Eliminate sugar, junk food, fried food, and caffeine from your diet. Avoid alcohol and tranquilizers as well.

At the wake, eliminate sugary desserts. All the above foods and drinks can contribute to mood swings and increased depression.

It is essential to attend to your diet and maintain regular exercise throughout the whole two to three year grieving period.

Researchers have found that your chance of illness or accidents is increased after grief. The risk of diseases such as high blood pressure, skin problems, arthritis, diabetes, heart disease and thyroid disease is increased.

You also risk alcohol and drug abuse, depression, migraine headaches, low back pain and blood chemistry abnormalities.

• Pay attention to rest and getting enough sleep.

If you are having a lot of trouble sleeping, you may require a sleeping pill for a couple of months.

I have found that the amino acid tryptophan in dosages of two to four grams at bedtime to be useful for insomnia, although it has not been recognized for this usage. It is only available through prescription from your doctor. It has the advantage of being safe, naturally based and causes no drowsiness. It has few side effects at that dosage.

• Use humour to heal yourself.

Read funny books and watch funny movies. It provides one of the best respites from grief. Humour also provides a change of perspective and boosts your immune system.

• Know what to expect.

At anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas or special feast days, you are likely to have a flare-up of grief. You can plan ahead for this by getting extra rest, massage, time off, etc.

SIX TO NINE MONTHS: You may experience a worsening of grief related symptoms. Dr. Glen Davidson, a leading grief expert, found that 25 percent of people went through a diminishing of their natural immune system at that time.

Deits suggests that you schedule a doctor's or counsellor's appointment at that time.

THE FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY: It is important to take the day off to remember the loved one or do something special for yourself.

THE EIGHTEENTH MONTH: Suddenly, it seems like you are back at the beginning of your grief. It is important to remember when you have a setback like this that it just shows you how far you have come, and that it won't last long.